Nothing is more tempting to assuage a wounded heart than to have a man step into the gap and pick up the pieces someone else has left behind. It does not matter if it is a marriage that has turned sour or if your steady boyfriend suddenly decided that it is time to move on. Yet did you know that these rebound relationships very rarely last, and very often they cause more heartache and pain than they actually cure? Perhaps the reason may be found in the flawed basis for the relationship, which is little more than a desperate attempt to recreate something that was lost. Women are especially vulnerable in these times, and here are some practical tips for women to recognize and avoid rebound relationships.
Have you experienced closure? Whenever a relationship ends there is quite frequently the temptation to try to let the other person down a bit easier by promising to “still be friends.” While in some cases this may work, it rarely if ever will be effective if the pain is still too close to your heart. If you find that your heart leaps in your chest every time you run across your ex, then the odds are that you have not yet reached a point of closure. In other words, you are not yet quite ready to move on and into the arms of another man.
Have you had enough time to heal? Nobody but you will be able to answer this question. Your best friend may actually try to set you up on other dates virtually within minutes of your break up with your ex, but it would be wise not to take her up on her offer. Instead, you will need to give yourself some time to not only understand exactly what went wrong, but to also acknowledge your part in the break up. Add to this the fact that you probably will notice that there were several warning signs that you might have ignored, it is wisest to take stock of your past relationship and learn to avoid similar situations in the future.
Do you once again feel comfortable being alone? Do you feel whole again? If so, you are ready to move. If, on the other hand, you are looking to fill a hole left by the last man who walked out of your life, then you are neither comfortable being alone nor feel comfortable with who you are – this means you will need to give yourself some more time.